A Looking Glass View Into Another Time, Another Place

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If you’ve read the book "180 Degrees", there is no way you don’t remember Uncle Louis or my Aunt Dawn.  Even after going through so many of their own trials (literally) and tests in life, today they both stand as a testament to how you really can change your life if you set your mind to it.  

 

In this compelling video, Louie shares his personal insights; he says that "I am an inspiration to him."  Coming from a man that epitomizes positive change himself – I can’t tell you how much of an honor it is to hear him say those words and what it is to also have the admiration from my Aunt. I am very proud of them both.

As I continue to share my past life through a visual journey and at the same time include thoughts and insight in the present day, I had to make a trip to the infamous Miami, Florida (for many reasons, not the least of which is the story in 180 Degrees).  Beginning with my Aunt Dawn’s smiling face as she shows us the club where we spend many nights just hanging out and waiting for the other side of midnight.  Right off of South Beach, the place reminds me of so many memories – memories that I talk about in the book – of how life was so different back then.  

You could say that this was the beginning of the end (only for there to be another new beginning much later), after I moved here as a teenager.  Living with my Aunt Dawn, Uncle Louis and their kids, the house we were in was right on the waterway where there was a boat, a playhouse and lots of good times.  When I hug Aunt Dawn today, I am overcome with emotion as she declares her infinite pride in my accomplishments since then.  Being strong supporters of my recovery, both Uncle Louis and Aunt Dawn being proud of me is an amazing feeling and a true blessing.

It wasn’t all pretty though.  There was a time when Aunt Dawn cut up all my clothes and threw them in the bay.  In the video, you get to see the bridge where I spent time as if it was “home” and you also get to see the street where my friend Jimmy and his dad were waiting to kill me. You also see where we lived and where I spend nights homeless under Hallover bridge. It seemed the drama never ended.  This was also the same place where I got a call from Uncle Donald telling me that there were six police cars waiting in his driveway looking for me.  

In many interviews and of course in my book, I often mention the documentary “Cocaine Cowboys” and if you have seen Miami in those days, you’d attest to the fact that this documentary says it all.  It really was that crazy.  Schools were infiltrated with people from shady backgrounds.  In fact, my school was very corrupt. I remember hundreds of pounds of pot around us every day.

As I taped this video, it was like another lifetime ago. Although I had a very chaotic time living in Miami, while visiting now; sober, I only remember the fond times with my Uncle Louie, Aunt Dawn, my family and all my childhood memories. Sadly, I also remember my Uncle Donald, whom past away 2 years ago (cause of death unknown). I loved him very much. I wish he was here to see the success of the book and to share the many laughs I had with him.  

 

To find out more and to experience my Miami life as I tell it in 180 Degrees, click and watch the video :-) 

Sharing My Story With Bradley Quick & the Cool Change Radio Audience – Together Inspiring Millions

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Rarely do you have the opportunity to impact others’ lives and when I finally sat down to rite 180 Degrees, I had realized after a long time that sharing my story was in fact a great way to share my wisdom of lesson’s learned.  It’s taken a long time for me to reach this point where I can comfortably accept my words as those of wisdom – and it’s taken me a lot of personal growth to be able to smile and receive compliments from those that recognize my achievements.  

So when I was invited to meet and speak with Bradley Quick on Cool Change Radio, you can imagine my excitement to be able to sit with yet another inspiring individual.  Throughout our conversation we were both able to reflect upon times of strife and overcoming so many different obstacles. 

Here, at the top and enjoying the pinnacle of personal and professional success, I am very pleased to share with you the video stream of that interview.  

Building the Perfect Storm

As my childhood progressed, little did I know that things were shaping up to be very difficult in the coming years ahead.  By the time I was 15 years old I was shooting dope when other kids the same age were involved in their schools, families and friends.  I was a mess.  The day before I turned 17 was the day that my family put their foot down and made me go to rehab (for the first time).  How many young kids do you know are dealing with so much personal pain and strife that they are channeling that pain through drugs?  Whether you know them or not, there are millions of us out there.  And I, for one, wanted to share how I got out of that mess.  

My time in rehab, as I shared both with Bradley and in my book with readers, was not pretty.  Thinking it was going to be more like Club Med before I passed through those doors at first, is probably the only reason I agreed to go in the first place.  When I finally made it through I somehow got through it playing the role of a lifetime, “acting” for therapists, hoping they couldn’t see through my façade.  They saw through it all right.  And though I had hoped to be discharged sooner, I wasn’t – the damage had already been done.  I was right back at it again just shortly afterward when I traveled to California to be with my grandmother and finish high school.  

Turning Point and Turning Life Around 

Things do turn around if you want it badly enough.  And after living on the streets, under a bridge, on friends’ couches, people’s garages – getting nasty stares by those that came within a few feet of me – all of that finally got me to take a chance on myself and make a change in my life.  

I am still, to this day, overcome by fear at times but not nearly as much as during those days when I would wonder where I might lay my head down that night, unsure of day to day rather than long term like most people my age were doing at stage in their lives.  I remember seeing myself, with my grey sunken eyes and almost feather light weight, realizing that something had to change.  

I had to learn to find another coping mechanism to deal with my issues – drugs were off the table.  The cocaine in Miami, pot (which seemed like child’s play after all that I’d been doing), acid and dealing drugs – all led to my demise and I now knew that.  

While living in Venice, California I began working at a small real estate office.  That was the beginning of the rest of my life.  One step at a time, things began to change. Today, I am a self-made millionaire; I have a family of whom I am so proud, a thriving real estate practice and renowned status as an author.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  Bradley quotes me during our interview and nothing could be truer about that mantra:

Life as you know, is a series of cycles of ups and downs.  When we reach a peak of any type we have to recognize that we have to descend into the next valley to get to the next peak. The valley is what makes us stronger.

We talked about the 180 blog and the purpose of this blog – and the truth is that by being able to share inside information, behind the scenes views and provide interesting insight about what got me to where I am today, I see the 180 blog as the perfect supplement to my book.  One through which I can give readers (and potential readers) a glimpse into the reality of the book.  For me, it was very real and to be able to show that on video makes it all the more gratifying that those interested in my story will get a 360-degree view of it.

More About the Book

To tell the story of my lifetime, in a way to share how it has impacted my life forever from this point on, 4 years to write the book doesn’t seem like that much time. For years I hadn’t even considered writing it and it wasn’t until an acquaintance of mine turned on the light bulb one day by reminding me that a book like this would not be for me, rather it would be to help the millions of people that do deal with this sort of thing on a daily basis.  The most surprising thing though has been the revelation that most of my readers are mostly touched by part 2 of the book, where I talk about the turn around. 

It’s been out for three years or so now and when you read it along with visits to the 180 blog it gets really interesting.  The book’s available on my website or on amazon.

~

I believe that life’s schoolroom never closes.  We learn new lessons everyday and will continue to do it.  To this day, I am practicing the lessons of forgiveness, letting go of fears and not being afraid to inspire others – every single day.  Sometimes it gets hard to stay in a comfort zone but I have to remember what really matters in life and I get right back on track.  I am ever thankful for having God in my life, my family and of course the strength and conviction to do what I know is right for my life.

“No Fear” – Find Faith and Gratitude

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If you’ve read my book chances are you can attest to the fact that I have been through a good number of trials in my life.  One of the single most trying of those times was when I suffered an acute sense of fear that things may never change.  As I found myself without a roof over my head, sleeping on someone’s couch or a friends’ car – I would often be overcome with a sense of deep loathing for myself and the circumstances I was surrounded in.

But my trust and faith in God is one thing that helped get me through those times and I stand tall and proud today to be able to say that that very fear was replaced by gratitude.  You might think “what could Rob possibly have been grateful for while addicted to drugs and living a nightmare existence?”

Well, the truth is that the only way I was able to pull out of that craziness was because of sheer faith.  Not my faith in God entirely but rather others’ faith in me.  This is where I salute the amazing people that put together and implement 12-step programs, the endlessly giving individuals that would give of themselves in an effort to help ordinary people like me who were stuck in a web that was so hard to be freed from.  And the incredible Alcoholics Anonymous book that has helped me tremendously.  But most of all it is God that I owe my freedom to.

If it was not for God, I would not have been able to turn my life around.  And just a relatively short time later become a successful Realtor and renowned businessman.  As I jogged my morning jog, I realized how truly blessed I am.  Blessed to be in the company of those who love and support me.  Blessed to have a solid, strong head on my shoulders with the ability to make good, sound decisions.  Blessed to be able to live in the absence of fear.

Fear is most definitely just about the most paralyzing phenomenon to a person’s psyche.  And it wasn’t until I was no longer ruled by my fears that I began to realize just how wonderful life really is.

So as we embark on yet another year in this journey called life, I wanted to wish upon each and every one of you the power of overcoming your fears and embracing your strengths.  I am never too far from thoughts of gratitude for all that I have and all that I am and all that I stand to become – and I wish the same up on you as well.

The 180 Degrees Blog – Venice Beach, California!

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MEMORIES OF A TIGHT LIVING SPACE

Remember the time in the book where I mention we had three of us cramped in the one-bedroom Venice Beach apartment?  Well – I thought it would be fun to show you exactly what I was talking about.  As I revisited my old home, I was lucky enough to find the new tenant willing to let us walk through.  You’ll see the living space, the kitchen area and the stairs leading up to where our tenant lived.

It wasn’t easy paying my one third of the $895 rent in those days but it was also the beginning of the rest of my life and if it wasn’t for those building blocks, I can’t say I’d be here right now shooting this video.

As you watch the video, you get to see the spot where my roommates and I would wake up to find homeless people sleeping overnight – some of them that we would know by name.

THE BEGINNINGS OF A LIFETIME OF POSITIVE CHANGE

My former real estate office is around the corner from where we lived and in this video I show you exactly where it was.  In those days it was the John Douglas Company but since then it has become RE/MAX – and it was very cool to be able to see the building where I got my real estate start.

SAND SURF AND FUN

The wonderful breeze of the Pacific Ocean fills the air and you can see exactly where the alley that led to the breakwater and beach was through which I would walk to go surfing.  Though it was a nice area, we had a lot of break-ins in my car and we didn’t even have a door on our garage at that point. Here’s a great beach cam to see what’s going on Venice Beach in real time.

GOOD AND CHEAP EATS

This video would not be complete if I didn’t share with you the famous Thomas Hamburgers where I would get my breakfast, lunch and dinner ALL the time.  Super cheap at the time, I have many fond memories of that place – right there on Washington and Pacific in Venice, California.

MORE TO COME

Stay tuned for more exciting walkthroughs of the life and times of yours truly.  It’s really neat showing you what I’m talking about in my book.

Behind the Scenes of 180 Degrees - Part II

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Chapter 2 from "180 Degrees"

AGE 6 – 8

My family lived in Orange County, California, the WASP capital of the world. I was the older of two boys and a part of what seemed to be the perfect family. My mother was an attractive blonde and my father, an attorney, was a strapping and handsome ex-USC football player. From the outside, my family looked like “The American Dream.” The inside was a different story all together. There was a lack of love in my family, and I grew up fearing my father. Consequently, as a child, I felt a deep sadness. My sadness was so deep that by the age of six I was writing suicide letters to my parents. I would cut myself and drip blood all over the pages for added drama. The letters were not empty threats. I made several child-like attempts to kill myself before I was seven. My parents sent me to see many different psychologists, each of whom, I’m told, determined that I was too “too serious” a child. My brother, Brett, and I were absolutely terrified of our father. We had reason to be. My dad brutally beat us by hand, brush, or belt most nights when he got home—with or without “good reason.” Our mother often provoked our father’s rage by giving reports of our “bad” behavior. The most troubling memories I have surrounding the abuse deal with the times when we hid in a
closet or under our beds, tearfully pleading with our mother to not tell our father of our misbehavior. Although she knew the consequences of her reports, she never granted us mercy. The lashings we received were so severe we often had difficulty walking afterwards. The oppression and trauma in our home continued until
the law intervened. Child Protective Services finally came to our aid.

I clearly remember the events that led up to the intervention of Child Protective Services and to my father’s subsequent departure. Brett, my brother, had locked me out of the house. He was teasing me from behind a sliding glass door, laughing and joking that he was not going to let me in. I was yelling back at him when my father raced up behind Brett and threw him violently aside. He flung the door open and grabbed me by the throat. The fury I saw in his eyes and the force with which he choked me was horrifying. I can still feel the terror that gripped me in that instant. My father heaved me headfirst through the air and my face collided with the leg of the chair my grandmother was sitting in. I lost consciousness upon impact.

“You bastard!” My grandmother’s hysterical scream woke me.

I felt the sting from a gash on my forehead as I lifted my head to see what was happening. My grandmother was on the phone. She’d called the authorities and was reporting my father’s abuse. His reign of terror was over. My father packed up quickly and walked out of our lives. I wouldn’t see him again for seven years.
* * *
My father was not the only predator I had the misfortune of knowing during my childhood. During Dad’s last year with us, a babysitter, a seventeen-year-old boy who lived next door, also made his mark on my childhood.

My brother and I looked up to him, and naturally, we were eager to gain his approval. We had a fort in our backyard. He suggested we all “hang out” in the fort together. We thought nothing of it until he literally let it all “hang out”—exposing his penis to us. He masturbated in front of us until he ejaculated. We never told anyone about it because he told us it was a secret that he could make his penis do that. One night when he was babysitting us, he made us get naked and jump up and down on the bed while he watched us. Although both incidents made me very uncomfortable, I didn’t say anything to my parents. I sought his approval, and I did not want to be considered a tattle-tale. Brett, however, told our parents, and Dad stormed over to the  neighbors’ house to talk with the boy’s parents. He threatened to kill their son if he so much as looked in our direction again. We never saw the kid again.

I was deeply distressed about these incidents for years. I felt responsible for allowing this abuse to happen. I was upset with myself for not stopping the boy. Also, I regretted that it was my younger brother who had informed my parents of the incidents. It should have been me.

While these traumatic events may have contributed to my destructive and addictive behavior later on, I know of many others with drug problems who came from “normal” families. Their relationships with their parents and loved ones were healthy. Family and upbringing does not necessarily determine the path to addiction.

Forgiveness

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I hope you enjoy this video blog of “Forgiveness.”

I received a question from my Uncle Louis after he received one of the earlier video blogs. He asked, “What is the definition of the word Namaste?”

I use Namaste as my departing salutation in the book 180 Degrees. The definition of Namaste can be found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Namaste

When I use the word Namaste, I intend the meaning, "The spirit in me respects the spirit in you" or "the divinity in me bows to the divinity in you" or as it was originally told to me from a yoga master, “The God in me salutes the God in you.”

For those that read the book 180 Degrees, you know that I am a strong believer in God, however I am not a follower of any religion. Although my wife and kids are Jewish, my dad was Presbyterian and my mom Catholic, I chose a different path. My belief in God is always evolving and I am committed to the process of discovering new awareness of God and how the Universal energy is working in my life and how I (we) relate to it all.

As the word Namaste is used in my book; I totally respect any and all paths to God … and for those that do not believe in God, I respect your path too.

Namaste,

Robert R

Behind the Scenes of 180 Degrees - Part I

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I think we can agree that visiting the Grand Canyon would give you quite a different experience than just reading about it, wouldn’t you agree? Books contain descriptions of the various locations that events in the book take place. But what do these places really look like? You may be able to put together an abstract picture of the location, or piece together a mental image of what it may have looked like…but the question of what the actual location looks like still remains.  From the ranch I grew up on, to the church I broke into, to some of the high schools I attended, I’ll take you behind the scenes to these actual locations, so you can see exactly where the events in my book took place.